May 16, 2007- Wednesday
1:04 pm
I can’t believe I’m so not myself because of some guy who doesn’t seem to still know me, someone who doesn’t think of me, not for a minute, not a second. It’s really difficult, you know. It aches my heart to think of it, and worse to feel it. I just can’t believe he’s like gone in just one heartbeat.
I miss him. So much. Too much. I am always like this, and he’s not. We totally don’t feel the same. ‘Coz if we do, he’d take a step to talk to me, to tell me he’s fine, he’s still there but he didn’t, he doesn’t and maybe, he won’t. But it’s so hard. And I want to let go, give up, whatever the breaking free of your heart from the prison of pain and misery is called.
Gosh!!!! I hope I could really make it. I’m tired of all this. And if he really has those beautiful feelings for me, he’d tell me. I can’t wait forever, you know. I’m only human. I get tired. I get hurt. I get to be miserable. And I don’t want to come to a point where all I see and wish for is a guy who is too far away from me, who keeps me waiting, who possibly loves another, who maybe in another girl’s arms at this very minute. I don’t want to be too much of a martyr. I already am.
If I have to fall in love again, I will. And if he’s not the guy, I will be happy for who is for me. I love him, too much in fact but if pain and grief comes in return, I can handle it for a while but not too long. I also want to give myself a chance to love again. Be happily in-love again. With someone, else.
But if he is for me, I hope our paths, worlds, lives would meet eventually. I’d really be happy to know that. I’ve suffered too much that sometimes, I really think he is the guy for me. He should make his way to meet me. Right now, I just want him to love me back; I want him to say he wants to be with me. And I hope that if ever he comes to that realization, I am still there. Waiting.
Just not too long. Not too long.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
A lost chance
May 16, 2007- Wednesday..
12:42 pm
Yester night, my mom told me that our principal from UPHS called her earlier that day. She has been told that there is a scholarship slot needed to fill in and I might be the one. My sisters have graduated and I’m the only child who’s studying right now. Mme. Baltazar, our principal knew that fact and told my mom to let me call her this morning at about 9 o’clock.
I was so happy of what I have heard about and was so excited. I thought “Wow! I’m going to be a scholar and make my mom happy.” So I called Mme. Baltazar earlier this morning and she told me that maybe someone else needed the scholarship more than I do. I was really sad and felt bad that I won’t be able to be a scholar. I hoped and wished for it but sometimes, there are things in life that are not meant for having.
I went to school after the call I made to see Mme. Maglasang, our Guidance Counselor. She was what I needed at that time. She gave me back my hope and said that maybe someone else really needed it more than I do and that maybe something better awaits me. I was happy and my optimism came back to life. I thought that I could do better than before.
I should maintain a high GPA for the school years left of my high school life and improve on the skills I have as a leader. I should concentrate on my studies and have it on top of my list. I should give my best for what’s left of me. I want them to be happy. I want them to be proud. And when they do, so I’ll be…=)
12:42 pm
Yester night, my mom told me that our principal from UPHS called her earlier that day. She has been told that there is a scholarship slot needed to fill in and I might be the one. My sisters have graduated and I’m the only child who’s studying right now. Mme. Baltazar, our principal knew that fact and told my mom to let me call her this morning at about 9 o’clock.
I was so happy of what I have heard about and was so excited. I thought “Wow! I’m going to be a scholar and make my mom happy.” So I called Mme. Baltazar earlier this morning and she told me that maybe someone else needed the scholarship more than I do. I was really sad and felt bad that I won’t be able to be a scholar. I hoped and wished for it but sometimes, there are things in life that are not meant for having.
I went to school after the call I made to see Mme. Maglasang, our Guidance Counselor. She was what I needed at that time. She gave me back my hope and said that maybe someone else really needed it more than I do and that maybe something better awaits me. I was happy and my optimism came back to life. I thought that I could do better than before.
I should maintain a high GPA for the school years left of my high school life and improve on the skills I have as a leader. I should concentrate on my studies and have it on top of my list. I should give my best for what’s left of me. I want them to be happy. I want them to be proud. And when they do, so I’ll be…=)
Monday, March 26, 2007
My sis' Grad
All of us dream to graduate and reach our goals in life. To be independent and apply all the things that we have learned in school to our jobs. It is a big achievement to be able to finish school and give back to our parents all the sacrifices, all the sweat and tears they shed only to let us enter a good school and give us our needs, even our wants. That's why I salute all the graduates of this year... Especially my SISTER.
Last Saturday, it was my sister's graduation. She graduated from the course Business Administration. We were really happy that she made it and went through college. My mother already had financial problems since they really had high costs and expenses in preparation for their graduation.
To mention two of the many others, they still had their Junior-Senior Promenade and their Graduation Ball. My sister had to ask for solicitations since their corp was assigned for the JS Prom. Also, she had to rent a gown and buy new sandals. She spent a lot for the two events but I knew she had a great time.She really went through many things before she finally received her diploma.
On the day of her graduation, I left home early since I still had my Geometry Final Exams. My mom only told me to met them in SM. She gave me money for my lunch and so I ate lunch all by myself. I have been waiting for almost two hours when my sister said that she's coming.
We still went around the mall and went to the venue for the graduation. I was glad when we arrived there before the formal calling of names. I was so happy when I saw her up on stage and received her diploma. When the graduation rites were finished, we gave her a gift, a polo shirt because we knew she need one for her job application. She was also happy with what we gave her and we were tankful for that.
We ate our dinner in Bigby's where we celebrated with our cousins (Christian and Amythest). We were so full after eating that I swear I could vomit all the food I took in. The food serving was really huge and you can really say that all you spent was worth it. We also had our pictures taken after dinner.
After, we went to Timezone and played basketball and car racing. I was so glad I placed first for two consecutive times.
We asked our cousins to sleep at home and go back to their houses he next day. We called the elders and they granted our request. After, we bought ice cream and went home.
That day was really wonderful. I had so much fun. My sisters, cousins and I bonded after a long time. I mean, it isn't easy to find time for we can't fit the schedules. Finally, we had the time last Saturday. It felt good to gave fun again and play together again.
I was also really glad my sister had finished one level and is up to a harder level. Meeting a larger group of people. Where the real life begins. =)
Last Saturday, it was my sister's graduation. She graduated from the course Business Administration. We were really happy that she made it and went through college. My mother already had financial problems since they really had high costs and expenses in preparation for their graduation.
To mention two of the many others, they still had their Junior-Senior Promenade and their Graduation Ball. My sister had to ask for solicitations since their corp was assigned for the JS Prom. Also, she had to rent a gown and buy new sandals. She spent a lot for the two events but I knew she had a great time.She really went through many things before she finally received her diploma.
On the day of her graduation, I left home early since I still had my Geometry Final Exams. My mom only told me to met them in SM. She gave me money for my lunch and so I ate lunch all by myself. I have been waiting for almost two hours when my sister said that she's coming.
We still went around the mall and went to the venue for the graduation. I was glad when we arrived there before the formal calling of names. I was so happy when I saw her up on stage and received her diploma. When the graduation rites were finished, we gave her a gift, a polo shirt because we knew she need one for her job application. She was also happy with what we gave her and we were tankful for that.
We ate our dinner in Bigby's where we celebrated with our cousins (Christian and Amythest). We were so full after eating that I swear I could vomit all the food I took in. The food serving was really huge and you can really say that all you spent was worth it. We also had our pictures taken after dinner.
After, we went to Timezone and played basketball and car racing. I was so glad I placed first for two consecutive times.
We asked our cousins to sleep at home and go back to their houses he next day. We called the elders and they granted our request. After, we bought ice cream and went home.
That day was really wonderful. I had so much fun. My sisters, cousins and I bonded after a long time. I mean, it isn't easy to find time for we can't fit the schedules. Finally, we had the time last Saturday. It felt good to gave fun again and play together again.
I was also really glad my sister had finished one level and is up to a harder level. Meeting a larger group of people. Where the real life begins. =)
Sunday, March 25, 2007
The "NOT GOOD" side of a UPian
When I entered UP High School, I was excited and at the same time nervous. I don’t know what to expect, except maybe that I would enjoy my new second home. I see new faces and meet new people, live in a new environment. I know for a fact that as a UPian, people have high expectations on me. As I lengthened my stay in this university, I see the other side of a UPian. And honestly speaking, I hate some of them.
As a sophomore, I know I haven’t experienced a lot, not like the ones older than I am. But as early as it seems, I have seen what a UPian is. Other traits are not obviously the ideal ones.
First, most of us, (or not?) even me, do our home works in school and actually copy from each other. We arrive at school, ask people what the assignments are and then, say “Pakupyaha ko bi!” (“Let me copy!”). I guess it happens to all schools but who would ever thought that a UP student would too, right?
Also, students neglect to clean. One trait that I myself don’t like. I don’t like for a fact that we don’t have the initiative to look around and realize that the surroundings don’t look good because of the trashes scattered around by no other than ourselves. Sometimes, no matter how I or other people shout at other people to clean their places and pick up trashes, no one or maybe some only would. Also, there are times that when I ask people to throw the trashes, they don’t do it. It really showed that we really cleaned when the students from St. John’s in Guam went to school for an activity. See? I hope we can really change and improve ourselves.
The one trait that I hate about a UPian is when one borrows a thing or a possession, other students don’t give it back. They borrow it, then they don’t put it back to where they got it from. I just find my things sometimes or I may say most of the time not from the borrower’s hands or from someplace. I really hate it. I don’t like that I would be the one searching for my things.
Also, others own things they don’t actually own. In short, steal. I experienced it and I know lots of people who did to. Only, those hat was stolen from me were not money, but they are projects and requirements needed for me to pass my subjects. My project in Hometech was stolen once when I was in my freshmen year and once too, this year. Then, recently, my notebook in my Health subject was lost. But it's quite impossible to be lost since my classmates who I passed my notebook with had their notebooks returned. I haven't found it again.
See? These are not the ideal traits of a UP student. We, students of such university should know better. Actually, we should be better. Better than these.
As a sophomore, I know I haven’t experienced a lot, not like the ones older than I am. But as early as it seems, I have seen what a UPian is. Other traits are not obviously the ideal ones.
First, most of us, (or not?) even me, do our home works in school and actually copy from each other. We arrive at school, ask people what the assignments are and then, say “Pakupyaha ko bi!” (“Let me copy!”). I guess it happens to all schools but who would ever thought that a UP student would too, right?
Also, students neglect to clean. One trait that I myself don’t like. I don’t like for a fact that we don’t have the initiative to look around and realize that the surroundings don’t look good because of the trashes scattered around by no other than ourselves. Sometimes, no matter how I or other people shout at other people to clean their places and pick up trashes, no one or maybe some only would. Also, there are times that when I ask people to throw the trashes, they don’t do it. It really showed that we really cleaned when the students from St. John’s in Guam went to school for an activity. See? I hope we can really change and improve ourselves.
The one trait that I hate about a UPian is when one borrows a thing or a possession, other students don’t give it back. They borrow it, then they don’t put it back to where they got it from. I just find my things sometimes or I may say most of the time not from the borrower’s hands or from someplace. I really hate it. I don’t like that I would be the one searching for my things.
Also, others own things they don’t actually own. In short, steal. I experienced it and I know lots of people who did to. Only, those hat was stolen from me were not money, but they are projects and requirements needed for me to pass my subjects. My project in Hometech was stolen once when I was in my freshmen year and once too, this year. Then, recently, my notebook in my Health subject was lost. But it's quite impossible to be lost since my classmates who I passed my notebook with had their notebooks returned. I haven't found it again.
See? These are not the ideal traits of a UP student. We, students of such university should know better. Actually, we should be better. Better than these.
Friday, March 23, 2007
"A Summary of Max Schulman's "Love Is a Fallacy""
The story "Love is a Fallacy" by Max Schulman started by the introduction of the main character, the narrator. He is a smart, maybe even a genius, studying Law. As he said, he is a logical, keen, perspicacious, and a lot more adjectives to describe that he is nothing but intelligent.
He has a roommate named Petey Bellows at the university. They have the same background, same age but he describes Petey as the complete opposite of what he is. He is as dumb as an ok and a faddist, he says. He wants to be on what's in in the crowd.
He found Petey, one afternoon, with a distress look on his face that the narrator assumed to be appendicitis. He told Petey not to move and he will call a doctor. Then he heard Petey mumble "Raccoon." He questioned why Petey said raccoon. Then Petey said he wanted a raccoon coat because all the 'Big Men' on campus are wearing raccoon coats. He exclaimed that he really has to have a raccoon coat. The narrator said that raccoon coats are heavy and they smell bad but Petey didn't listen. He kept pleading that he has to have one. He'll do anything for it.
An idea came to the mind of the narrator. He remembered that his dad owned a raccoon coat back at home and he might be able to give it to Petey. But! With an exchange. He wants Polly Espy. He thinks she is the perfect girl to be his wife. She is beautiful, graceful and has the right manners. A suitable lady for a future lawyer. Only, she is DUMB. But at the back of the narrator's mind, he thought that it would be easier to make a dumb girl smart than to make an ugly lady beautiful.
The narrator proposed the deal and Petey agreed. After all, he and Polly aren't going steady yet. They only go out and date but not yet anything serious. He gave Petey the coat and Petey happily wore it.
When the narrator first dated with Polly, he wanted to teach her about logic. For five nights, all that they have been talking about is LOGIC. Polly actually enjoyed the different fallacies being discussed by the narrator. When he reviewed Polly about what they have been lecturing, Polly has been very good in recalling the different fallacies.
When he told Polly, that he loves her, Polly just answered with the different fallacies that the narrator has been teaching her. The narrator told her that he doesn't have to apply the fallacies all the time in her everyday life since these fallacies are only taught inside the a four-walled room. Polly still didn't listen and continued to answer by using more fallacies. Then Polly told the narrator that she is going to get steady with Petey Bellows. The narrator that why of all people, Polly would get steady with someone like Petey. He seems to have no plans in life. Then Polly told him that he wants to go steady with Petey because Petey has "a Raccoon coat".
He has a roommate named Petey Bellows at the university. They have the same background, same age but he describes Petey as the complete opposite of what he is. He is as dumb as an ok and a faddist, he says. He wants to be on what's in in the crowd.
He found Petey, one afternoon, with a distress look on his face that the narrator assumed to be appendicitis. He told Petey not to move and he will call a doctor. Then he heard Petey mumble "Raccoon." He questioned why Petey said raccoon. Then Petey said he wanted a raccoon coat because all the 'Big Men' on campus are wearing raccoon coats. He exclaimed that he really has to have a raccoon coat. The narrator said that raccoon coats are heavy and they smell bad but Petey didn't listen. He kept pleading that he has to have one. He'll do anything for it.
An idea came to the mind of the narrator. He remembered that his dad owned a raccoon coat back at home and he might be able to give it to Petey. But! With an exchange. He wants Polly Espy. He thinks she is the perfect girl to be his wife. She is beautiful, graceful and has the right manners. A suitable lady for a future lawyer. Only, she is DUMB. But at the back of the narrator's mind, he thought that it would be easier to make a dumb girl smart than to make an ugly lady beautiful.
The narrator proposed the deal and Petey agreed. After all, he and Polly aren't going steady yet. They only go out and date but not yet anything serious. He gave Petey the coat and Petey happily wore it.
When the narrator first dated with Polly, he wanted to teach her about logic. For five nights, all that they have been talking about is LOGIC. Polly actually enjoyed the different fallacies being discussed by the narrator. When he reviewed Polly about what they have been lecturing, Polly has been very good in recalling the different fallacies.
When he told Polly, that he loves her, Polly just answered with the different fallacies that the narrator has been teaching her. The narrator told her that he doesn't have to apply the fallacies all the time in her everyday life since these fallacies are only taught inside the a four-walled room. Polly still didn't listen and continued to answer by using more fallacies. Then Polly told the narrator that she is going to get steady with Petey Bellows. The narrator that why of all people, Polly would get steady with someone like Petey. He seems to have no plans in life. Then Polly told him that he wants to go steady with Petey because Petey has "a Raccoon coat".
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